Thursday, April 12, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Taking Chances II
“Sarah!” someone calls out from behind.
She stops for a moment and looks back at the person calling out for her. She blocks the glare of the sun from her eyes with her hand and squints trying to find a familiar face. Not too far from her right side a man starts to jog up to her. Upon recognizing the person approaching her she smiles and takes a couple steps forward.
“Luis...”
“Fancy meeting you here, are you alone?”
Sarah nods her head.
“Business meeting?”
Sarah shakes her head.
“Wow. Pinayagan kang magbakasyon ni tito? Well you deserve it naman since your business is doing so great. Looks like it won’t be long til you conquer the rest of the world.”
Sarah playfully slaps his shoulder and laughs softly, “Sana nga that was enough reason for Papa to give me a break. Truth is tumakas lang ako, ni hindi alam ni Papa kung asaan ako...”
Luis looks at Sarah carefully. He knew very well this was out of her character.
“May problema ka ba? Di ba escape mo itong beach? Naalala ko nung nagaaral pa tayo lagi kang tumataks sa beach pag stressed ka o di kaya may problema ka...”
Sarah shakes her head “Wag na lang nating pagusapan...”
Sensing she wasn’t ready to talk just yet Luis changes the topic “Naglunch ka na ba? Papunta ako dun sa resto nung kaibigan ko sabayan mo na ako.”
Sarah had nothing better to do and she figured the company would help take her mind off of her problems. They stop in front of a bar on the beach side and she looks at Luis curiously.
“Eh sarado pa tong resto...”
“Wag kang magalala kaibigan ko may ari nito may usapan kami na dito kami mag lulunch. Halika na.” He answers as he opens the door for her.
“Eh may usapan pala kayo nung kaibigan mo ba’t sinama mo pa ako dito baka maistorbo ko lang kayo...”
“Ano ka ba wag ka nang maarte jan, kung date sana to di istorbo ka nga. Tsaka kanina ko pa naririnig yang tiyan mo sigurado ako gutom na gutom ka na...”
Embarrassed Sarah places her hand over her stomach and quietly follows Luis into the restaurant.
“Bro!” Luis yells out as they enter through the door. He walks Sarah over to the bar counter and pulls her seat out for her. Just to the left of the bar they hear the clanking of plates and pots from the kitchen. Luis excuses himself for a second and walks into the kitchen.
Sarah places her hands on the counter and takes a look around the restaurant. Just a little while later Luis walks out of the kitchen two plates in hand and sets it before Sarah.
“Tayo lang ang kakain?” Sarah asks curiously upon seeing only two plates being set down.
“Susunod na si Lloydie may inaayos lang sa kusina, kain na alam kong kanina ka pa gutom na gutom”
Sarah smiles and picks up her fork. Just as she takes her first bite Lloydie walks out of the kitchen and begins to walk towards the bar.
Just as he is approaching Luis wipes his mouth and turns to Lloydie. “Bro, I would like you to meet Sarah, kaklase ko nung college. Sarah this is John Lloyd, a good friend and the owner of this restaurant.”
Lloydie sets his plate down and with a smile looks towards her. Just as he is about to extend his hand he stops and looks at her curiously “Ikaw...?”
Confused Sarah looks at him and asks “I’m sorry magkakilala ba tayo?”
Still smiling like a fool he shakes his head and explains “Uhm, kanina sa beach lumipad yung sombrero mo...”
Sarah tilts her head to one side trying to recall the happenings that morning and smiles. “Ah I remember, thank you again for catching my hat and well for lunch.”
“My pleasure” Lloydie replies as he takes his place just across from Sarah.
As they eat Luis talks and talks and talks about his adventures that morning but Lloydie isn’t listening as he is still in a trance, staring at Sarah. Sarah senses his intent stare and looks up at him forcing a smile amidst her uneasiness. She looks back down at her food as she eats trying to ignore his stare. But upon getting much too uncomfortable she looks up at him and interrupts Luis who is speaking still.
“Luis, I’m sorry, John Lloyd right? Ayaw mo bang umupo...? Marami namang pwedeng upuan di mo kailangang tumayo...”
Realizing how uncomfortable she was with him he diverts his stare “Uh okay lang akong nakatayo mas maayos kasing makipagusap pag kaharap ko kayo kesa yung tabi tabi tayo...”
Luis sensing the tension speaks up “Kasi naman Lloydie wag kang tumitig masyado, tutunawin mo na si Sarah nyan eh. Sarah pagpasensyahan mo na yan.”
Blushing John Lloyd continues to eat and Sarah looks back down at her food.
After lunch Sarah excuses herself to give the two guys a chance to talk. As she is about to walk out the door Luis calls after her, “Will we be seeing you tonight?”
Sarah turns to face them and asks “Saan?”
“Dito. Hindi buo ang bakasyon mo kung hindi ka makikiparty dito, it’s the hottest place to be.”
Sarah smiles and says “We’ll see” before heading out the door.
John Lloyd has a smirk on his face and Luis quickly notices it.
“Oh ba’t ganyan ang ngiti mo?”
John Lloyd chuckles before answering “By any chance is she single?”
Luis bites his bottom lip and then answers “As far as I know may boyfriend sya, childhood sweetheart... teka bakit mo naitatanong?”
John Lloyd looks down at his food with a smirk on his face.
“Bro, I know that look and I’m telling you hindi sya katulad nang mga babae mo so if I were you maghanap ka na lang ng ibang lolokohin.”
***
Sarah sits down on the edge of her bed, phone in hand, contemplating whether or not she should turn it back on. She’d been gone more than a day now and she was sure her father was furious if not concerned. She shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath. Just as she is about to turn the power back on her phone she changes her mind and tucks her phone into her luggage. She grabs her laptop and sends her dad an email telling him that she was safe. After sending her email she shuts her laptop and stares out the window marvelling at the clear blue sky. Sitting comfortably on the balcony, overlooking the beach, she reads her book feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin.
She was so calm and relaxed that she had fallen asleep on the balcony. She awoke just as the sun was starting to set. She sits a while longer contemplating on what to do for the evening. She then remembers Luis’ invitation earlier that night. The bar wasn’t really her scene but she figured she had nothing else to do and a change of environment would be nice. She quickly freshens up and changes into something more appropriate for the occasion.
Luis was telling no lie when he said that John Lloyd’s bar was the place to be on a night like this. The crowds flocked the bar and you could hear the noise of the party from far away. Sarah wedged her way through the crowd trying to find a familiar face. No luck, Luis was nowhere in sight. However, from behind the bar counter she spots John Lloyd and since she was really starting to feel out of place she moved towards the bar counter and took a seat. She sits there awhile before John Lloyd spots her. Just as fast as the smile appeared on his face he appeared right before her.
“You made it!” he said out loud.
Sarah nods her head, unable to think with all this noise around her.
“So what can I get for you? A beer? Gin? Vodka?”
Sarah shakes her head “No thank you, I don’t drink.”
“Hah?” John Lloyd asks cupping his ear “Hindi kita marinig lakasan mo yung boses mo”
Sarah says louder “Hindi ako umiinom.”
John Lloyd smiles and says “Sige na, akong bahala sa yo, kahit isa lang. It’s on the house.”
John Lloyd quickly prepares a drink and places it before Sarah.
“Enjoy.”
Sarah smiles politely and scratches her head unsure of whether or not she should accept this drink. But before she could refuse it John Lloyd was excusing himself.
“Sarah, sorry di kita mae-entertain I have to work pa. But please do enjoy yourself I’ll make sure to look for you when it starts to die down.”
And just like that he was on the other side of the bar serving up drinks to awaiting customers. Sarah sits there awhile looking around herself. She opts to take the drink and finish it before she stands up and leaves the bar.
***
“Nandito ka lang pala...”
Sarah turns her head and sees John Lloyd standing behind her. He takes a seat beside her in the sand and looks out into the star filled sky with her.
Sarah smiles and says “Na o-op lang ako doon.”
“Ganun ba? Sige samahan na lang kita dito.”
“Ha? Wag na pumasok ka na doon may trabaho ka pa diba?”
“May bartenders naman doon eh kaya na nila yun.”
Sarah looks at him curiously “Bakit mo ba ako sinasamahan?”
“Ayaw mo?”
“Hindi naman sa ganun but you don’t have to I mean hindi mo naman ako kailangang i-entertain eh. So ba’t ka nga nandito ngayon?”
“Yung totoo?”
Sarah nods her head.
“Hindi ko din alam. Basta gusto kitang makasama...”
Sarah bows her head down with a smile. She didn’t know how or why but he made her feel special, in a way she had never felt.
“If it’s not too much to ask, ba’t ka nagpapakasenti ditong magisa?”
“Hindi naman ako nagpapakasenti ah...”
“Oh c’mon, kahit di kita kilala kitang kita sa mga mata mo na meron kang dinadamdam.”
“I’d rather not. Kaya nga ako nagpunta dito sa beach para takasan yung mga problema ko so wag na lang natin pagusapan...”
“Oh ganun naman pala eh. Nag punta ka dita para makalimot pero eto ka nagpapaka-emo. Halika mag enjoy tayo.”
Lloydie grabs her by her arm and runs towards the waters. As they run through the water Sarah yells out “Hoy, ano ka ba ang lamig nang tubig...”
They’re knee deep in water and standing face to face. John Lloyd has a huge grin on his face and Sarah looks at him with uncertainty.
“Lighten up...” he says to her.
With that Sarah looks around her and then smiles. She looks back at John Lloyd then splashes water in his face. This prompted him to splash her back and not long after they’re chasing each other in the water acting like children. This wasn’t like her. This was so out of her character. She wasn’t one to act so unreserved, especially with someone she hardly knew. She didn’t know why but with him she let go of her inhibitions and just let herself go.
***
She’s shivering standing at her door, trying to get the door open. Once she gets inside she quickly searches for a towel and hands it over to him.
“Thank you for walking me to my room. Eto oh para di ka masyadong malamigan habang naglalakad.”
“Salamat. I had a good night.”
“Ako din, salamat, I can’t remember the last time I felt so free.” Sarah says with a huge grin.
They stand at the doorway for awhile just staring at one another.
Then Sarah finally speaks up. “Sige na bumalik ka na doon. Good night.”
John Lloyd nods his head. “Good night.”
Just as he starts to walk away and she is about to shut the door he turns back.
“Sarah...?”
She pauses and raises her eyebrows at him.
“Kita tayo bukas?”
She smiles faintly “I'd like that.”
Saturday, October 22, 2011
One and Only XV
They landed back home without any trouble. At the airport waited their driver who readily drove them home. In the car Sarah pulled out her phone and called home just to let her parents know that all was well as did John Lloyd. The rest of the way Sarah leaned her head onto John Lloyd’s shoulder and looked out into the city with him. As the car pulled up on the drive way John Lloyd whispered into Sarah’s ear “Welcome home beh.” Sarah smiled as she marvelled at the sight of her new home. Granted she had been here several times in the past but now felt different because now this was her home too.
Once they had all their luggage inside the house Sarah took a seat on the couch and laid her head back as she closed her eyes.
“Pagod ka na?” John Lloyd asks as he takes a seat beside her.
Sarah smiles as she turns her head slightly to face him and opens her eyes “Bakit may lakad pa ba tayo?”
“Wala naman kaya lang..." he says pointing his lips towards their bedroom upstairs.
Sarah lets out a laugh and kisses his already pouted lips. “Kaya mo pa?” she asks him her head still leaning on the back of the couch.
He raises his eye brows and naughtily smiles at her.
Sarah looks down at her watch “Beh maaga pa naman eh tulog muna ako then in the meantime magluto ka na nang dinner tapos after that we’ll see...”
Without arguing he kisses her forehead and walks towards the kitchen. She lies down on the sofa, resting her head on her hands. Just as he is approaching the kitchen he says out loud “Tsamba lang nung pinagluto kita before so no promises pag di to masarap... don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Daringly Sarah answer “Pag di masarap tulog na lang tayo tonight...” with a slight chuckle.
John Lloyd laughs at her remark and says “Ah ganun, sige next time...”
“Beh quiet na," she interuppts "para makapagpahinga na ako. Ikaw din pag di ako nakapagpahinga tutulugan talaga kita tonight.”
With that John Lloyd shuts up and opens up the cupboards looking for something to cook.
***
Sarah wakes up feeling all refreshed and she sits up on the couch. She looks around herself smiling at the sight of her new home. She hears some clattering coming from the kitchen so she quickly gets up and heads in that direction. As she walks into the kitchen she sees John Lloyd washing some dishes. She looks over at the table and sees a plate of pancit canton.
“Instant noodles? Yun lang...?” Sarah teases.
John Lloyd turns his head upon hearing her voice and smiles “Eh wala naman palang laman yung fridge paano ako magluluto. Buti nga may natitira pang Lucky Me sa cabinet eh. Hayaan mo bukas na bukas grocery tayo tapos ipagluluto kita.”
Sarah walks towards him and she wraps her arms around him from behind. “Sige na bilisan mo na dyan para makakain na tayo.”
***
Just as Sarah finishes her food she looks up at John Lloyd and smirk as she says “Well Mr. Cruz pasalamat ka at masarap talaga ang Lucky Me... pero next time di na uubra to.”
“Hinahamon mo ba ako?” he says as he takes their dishes and walks over to the sink.
“Maybe...” she says as she follows him and takes a seat on the countertop.
“Well challenge accepted.” He says with conviction as he starts to wash the dishes.
Getting impatient Sarah whines “Beh, bukas na yan ako na ang maghuhugas nyan bukas...”
John Lloyd looks up and sees Sarah smiling at him sweetly. Just then she leans in for a kiss with no intention of stopping. John Lloyd fumbles as he turns the tap off and wraps his arms around Sarah, hands still wet and soapy. She wraps her legs around his waist and he lifts her up off the counter. He slowly takes a step forward and tries to lean his body against a wall to guide him in the right direction. Slowly but surely he makes it to the staircase. Just as he is about to take the first step up he loses his balance slightly but is able to lean onto the siderails. With that Sarah pulls away from their kiss laughing.
“Masyado ba akong mabigat oh mahina lang talaga yung tuhod mo...”
“Ano ka ba kayang kaya kita no, ano lang kasi, kasi ikaw...” he says stumbling to find the right words.
Sarah places her finger onto his lips “Okay na wag ka nang magexplain, akyat na tayo...”
Sarah rests her arms on his shoulders and laces her fingers together just behind his neck.
Once they reach their room he lays her down onto the bed and looks at her lovingly “I love you” he says softly.
With a smile on her face she lifts her hand to touch his face and says “I love you too.”
He then leans his head forward and places a soft kiss on her lips.
*Sexy time ;)*
***
The next morning she was the first to wake up. She looks over to her side and sees John Lloyd peacefully sleeping. Not wanting to wake him up she slowly inches off of the bed and grabs one of his tshirts from his closet. She quietly sneaks out the room and heads downstairs to the kitchen.
Minutes later he wakes up surprised not to find Sarah next to him. He quickly gets up and grabs his bathrobe before heading downstairs. Upon reaching the bottom of the staircase he hears some clattering from the kitchen. As he makes his way there he sees her standing at the sink, with his tshirt on, washing dishes.
He smiles marvelling at the sight of his wife.
“You know, you really ought to be careful what you put on...”
Sarah turns her head and sees him standing near the entrance to the kitchen “Bakit? Turn off ba na ganito itsura ko?” she asks, looking down at the loose baggy shirt she had on.
John Lloyd shakes his head as he moves towards her “Kabaligtaran, you’ve never looked sexier, kaya nga dapat nagiingat ka kasi I can’t help but think of how much I want you...”.
He places s kiss on her cheek and lingers there for a moment.
Sarah closes her eyes before she turns her head and faces him, their noses almost touching.
“Ang aga aga ganyan ka na, hayaan mo next time I’ll make sure not to wear your shirt again.”
“Wag...” he whines as he stands behind her and buries his face at the crook of her neck.
Sarah laughs out loud and says “Sige na, tama na, wag ka nang makulit. Maligo ka na habang tinatapos ko to kasi marami pa tayong aasikasuhin ngayon.”
"Tulungan na lang kita dito tapos sabay na tayong maligo...” he says naughtily.
Sarah looks at him surrendering and says “Bahal ka na nga.”
They joked around the entire morning as they got ready for their busy day. Every so often he would steal kisses from her which would set her off laughing. Getting ready in the morning took much longer than it usually did because of their playfulness. Finally upon getting all dressed up and ready they headed out together to face the world outside their humble home. Today they set forth to start their journey together as husband and wife for the world to see.
TBC
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Quick Update
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Taking Chances
I just wanna start again
And maybe you could show me how to try
Maybe you could take me in
Somewhere underneath your skin
What do you say to takin' chances?
What do you say to jumpin' off the edge?
Never knowin' if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold or hell to pay
What do you say? What do you say?
****
She rests her cheek on the palm of her hand as she pushes her food back and forth on her plate and he muses about the newest investor that he was doing business with. As she sits there in this posh restaurant uninterested in his “thrilling” news she starts to wonder.
When did things get so boring between the two of us? When did I stop caring?
She would look up at him every now and then so that he wouldn’t figure out that she wasn’t paying any attention to him. However, this time, when she looked at him she didn’t look back down at her food right away instead she continued to watch him as he gleefully kept talking. As she continued to stare at him she realized she wasn’t just bored nor did she not care, it was something more. She then starts to wonder, when did I fall out of love with him?
****
*flashback*
She’s sitting by the poolside, a pile of books and papers lying before her on the table. Every summer break she would always come back home to relax and take a break from her strenuous schedule at school. But, every year, that vacation she hoped for never came about because every trip home was more like a business trip.
She was intelligent like her father, a well renowned business man all over Asia, and elegant like her mother, a well loved former beauty queen. Ever since she was a child she had all eyes on her and she did not disappoint. From elementary all the way to high school she was a much celebrated and well awarded student. Upon graduating high school she went on to study abroad at a prestigious university and once she was finished with that she was expected to take over her family’s company.
Every trip back home her father would greet her with several piles of reports and proposals that he wanted her to study. Although she had not graduated yet she was already a huge part of this company. Her father looked to her for big business decisions and he valued her input in everything that involved the company. As early as now her father was very vocal about his hopes that, under her leadership, their company would be recognized beyond Asia.
She takes a break from the reports she is reading and looks over at the pool. The sun is scorching and a swim sounded just perfect to her. But, being the determined and focused person that she was she sighed and looked back at her workload.
No time for breaks.
Late into the afternoon she’s starting to doze off her eyes starting to get heavy. And as she slowly starts to lay her head down on the report lying in front of her she feels a soft kiss on her cheek. Her eyes quickly fly open and she looks up at the man standing behind her.
“Babe!” she says as she gets up and turns to face him.
He pulls her close to him and hugs her tightly as he says “I missed you.”
She’s laughing as he carries her and spins her around. She pleads with him to put her down because they’re going to fall into the pool. He puts her down and brushes her hair away from her face and just as he is about to kiss her a voice calls out for them from the balcony.
“Samuel,” he father calls out loud.
Sarah buries her face at the crook of his neck as she sighs and laughs and he looks up at the balcony to wave at her father.
“Good afternoon, tito.”
Sarah pinches his side as he carries out a conversation with her father. Getting impatient and bored Sarah interrupts “Pa, mamaya na kayo magusap ni Sam labas muna kami.”
“Natapos mo na ba yung pinapabasa ko sa yo?” he asks sternly.
“Pa, malapit na. Promise by tomorrow tapos ko na to. Sige na please ngayon lang ulit kami nagkita...” she pleads like a little girl to her father.
She was daddy’s little girl and he could not resist. “Samuel, magiingat sa pagdrive at alagaan mo nang mabuti yang anak ko.”
“I’ll protect her like the princess that she is,” he answers with a smile.
She quickly takes his hand and leads him out the gate.
The two headed out to their favourite restaurant and had a romantic dinner under the stars. After dinner they headed back to her place and sat by the poolside. They dipped their feet in the water and relaxed. She swings her feet in the water, looking at the moons refelction.
“Penny for your thoughts” Sam asks as he intently watches her.
She smiles faintly before looking up at him “What I wouldn’t give to be able to spend every day with you. Sobra kitang na miss and I can’t help but think that in less than 2 months aalis nanaman ako...”
He puts his arm around her and she leans her head onto his shoulder.
“I know it’s hard but we’re making it work naman diba? Isipin mo na lang na in a year graduate ka na... matutupad na lahat nang pangarap mo para sa sarili mo.”
“Alam mo naman na hindi naman ito yung pangarap ko eh, pangarap to ni Papa para sa kin...”
In an attempt to comfort her he rubs her arm and asks “Eh ano ba yung pangarap mo?”
Sarah closes her eyes and softly says “Ang bumuo nang isang masayang pamilya kasama ka...”
Sarah keeps her eyes closed dreaming up the perfect life and he just stares at her as her smile grows.
“Ilan ang anak natin?” he asks knowing that she’s thinking about that right now.
“Apat. Our eldest a boy, then twins – a boy and a girl, and lastly a cute little girl who has your dimples” she answers dreamily.
He chuckles softly at her. “Simulan na natin” he playfully says.
She laughs at his remark and then answers “Pakasalan mo muna ako.”
They both start to laugh and he starts to tickle her which causes her to slip into the pool. As she falls into the water she grabs hold of his arm and pulls him in with her.
Laughing they wipe away the water from their faces and he brushes her hair away from her face.
Staring at her lovingly he says “You know I’d marry you right this very moment, right?”
She smiles as she wraps her arms around him and nods her head “I know and when the time is right I will marry you and then all of my dreams will come true.”
He cups her face in his hand and leans in for a kiss.
He was her everything, he was everything she ever wanted.
****
She built her dreams with this man and she once loved him with all of her. So, when did it happen and why? When did she stop loving him?
Interrupting her thoughts he asks her “Sarah, okay ka lang? Is it the food?”
Looking somewhat surprised she replies “No, no, the foods fine. Pagod lang ako.”
“You want me to drive you home na?” he asks as he reaches for her hand.
“That would be great...”
****
She stares out the window the whole drive home, thinking to herself.
Tired - that was exactly how she felt. She was so sick and tired of her life. Everything became too familiar, with Sam especially. “I love yous” were like casual hellos, dates started feeling like boring business meetings and naturally somewhere along the way the flame blew out, at least for her it did.
She looks over at him in the driver’s seat and then back out into the dark sky. She use to enjoying going cruising with him, just enjoying his company. She use to get chills just hearing his voice and feeling his touch but now she felt nothing for him. Their relationship lost its excitement and thrill, it started to get predictable and she didn’t know how to get out of it.
He was her childhood sweetheart. She built all her dreams with him; she’s shared her innermost thoughts with him, her most intimate feelings. How could she just throw that all away?
She tossed and turned all night. She couldn’t throw away all the years they had together and she wonders if there was any way to get back to the way they use to be. She stares out into the dark sky and thinks to herself.
Maybe love is overrated. That takes-your-breath-away-butterflies-in-the-stomach kind of love, maybe it only existed in movies. Maybe we aren’t like we use to be but that doesn’t mean love no longer existed between the two of us. Maybe we’ve just grown up and now it took more than “kilig” to make this relationship work. He was the right one for her.
She slept that night with an unsettling feeling. She had made up her mind. She wasn’t going to leave him; she couldn’t imagine throwing everything they shared out the window. She choose to believe that she still loved him, somewhere deep in her heart. They just needed to rekindle the flame.
****
It was their anniversary and to celebrate she surprised him with, what she hoped would be a romantic getaway, for the two of them. They drove off to her family’s rest house in the province and arrived late in the evening. He got the fireplace started while she prepared dinner. She wished on every star in the sky that this would be enough to rejuvenate their troubled relationship.
After dinner they sat by the fireplace, winding down with a glass of wine. He goes on, like usual, talking about anything under the sun and she pretends to listen. Then suddenly out of the blue she cuts him off.
“Masaya ka pa ba?” she asks him curiously as she stares at the fireplace.
He looks at her worriedly “Oo naman. Sarah, is there something wrong?”
She finally looks up at him and faintly smiles at him “Wala, natanong ko lang,” she pauses for a second looking back at the fireplace and then sets her glass down on the table “inaantok na ako, akyat na ako sa taas.”
She stands up and kisses him goodnight before heading up the stairs.
Sarah was quiet for the rest of the weekend which really got Sam worried. She seemed really disconnected the drive back to the city. She stared out the window and he would occasionally glance at her. Something was bothering her and he knew it he just didn’t know what it was. A bit along the way he takes her hand from her lap and kisses it. She looks over at him and smiles gently before bowing her head down. The whole drive back he held her hand in his, little did he know that that was all he had left of her because her heart and her entire being no longer belonged to him.
She kept her distance for the week making up excuses about being busy at work whenever he would call. But, the truth is she was trying to think of ways to save this relationship, to make things work because she couldn’t picture breaking his heart. Unknown to her he, too, was getting tired – tired of her excuses.
One night she comes home from work and sees him sitting by the poolside his head bowed down. She takes a deep breath and paints a smile on her face before approaching him. She puts her hand on his shoulder and says “Kanina ka pa ba?”
He looks up at her and faintly smiles back at her “Hindi naman...”
Seeing the expression on his face Sarah takes the seat beside him and asks “May problema ba?” as if she didn’t already know.
“You tell me. Buong linggo you’ve been giving me excuse after excuse. Sarah, what’s wrong ba?”
Sarah bows her head down trying to come up with the right words.
Sam just stares at her waiting for her reply.
Finally she looks back at him with her tired eyes “Hindi mo ba nararamdaman? We’re not like we use to be, something’s changed...”
Sam closes his eyes briefly then looks at her with affection as he takes her hands “I know things didn’t turn out the way we once dreamed it would but I still love you all the same. Alam kong madami tayong pangarap dati na hindi pa natutupad but we still have so much time for that. Babe, walang nagbago I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, na delay lang nang konti...”
He thought that all she needed was to be reminded of how much he loved her and how he still stood by the dreams they built together. What he didn’t know was he had lost her somewhere along the way and if not for all the years she was afraid to throw away she would have walked away from him already. She stayed by him, mind and body, but her heart was far from him.
She smiles briefly before kissing him goodnight.
That night she went to bed thinking how lucky she was to be loved by someone like him. She convinced herself that that was enough reason to stay. It doesn’t get any better than him, she thinks to herself.
****
He’s having the time of his life mixing drinks and serving them up to happy customers. He puts on a show from behind the counters, dancing to the music as he mixes drinks for awaiting customers. He greeted everyone with a smile and treated everyone like a friend. As he tosses the shaker behind his back and catches it a good friend of his takes a seat at the bar.
“You, my friend, are living the life.”
John Lloyd laughs as he pours the drink and hands it over to the customer. “So what can I get for you Mr. Manzano” he asks wiping down the counter real quick.
“I’ll pass I have a business meeting tomorrow.”
“Oh c’mon man, live a little, it’s on the house.” He answers as he starts to pour the alcoholic beverage.
“No really I shouldn’t drink but tomorrow, I’ll take you up on that offer.”
“No way, tomorrow you, my friend, are gonna have to be a paying customer like everybody else” he slides the cup right in front of Luis but Luis shakes his head, rejecting the drink.
John Lloyd shrugs his shoulder before taking the cup and chugging it himself.
John Lloyd loved his life. He lounged around on the beach and chatted up tourist and beachgoers. At night he made a living by serving up drinks and partying at his bar. He was care-free and had such a passion for life. He moved away from the city when his parents divorced and opened up his own bar at the beach. He saw how his parents’ lives were so wrapped up in their jobs, and how it tore their family apart. He didn’t want that so he moved away from the city and started on his own. He ran a successful business and lived a simple happy-go-lucky life.
****
She had a business trip abroad that was expected to last up to two months so before she left he made an attempt to rekindle their romance. He took her to their favourite restaurant for dinner and took her up to the place they use to go to all the time. They’re sitting on the hood of his car staring out at the city, like they use to.
“I missed this. Do you remember when we first came up here, when we first fantasized about our future together? A home in the province, somewhere, with a big yard so that our kids could run around and play freely. Remember?” he asks looking back at her.
She half smiles at him “Pero parang ang layo na nung pangarap na yun...”
She rocks back and forth a little and looks down at her feet.
He sighs and stands up straight “We can still have all of that and more...”
She nods her head slightly.
“Let’s go. I still have something to show you before we go to the airport.”
She stands up and walks over to the passenger sight, hardly excited by his surprise.
He stops in front of an empty lot at a private subdivision.
“Ano to?” she asks looking out the window.
He fidgets in his seat reaching for something in his pocket. “I know this isn’t what we dreamed about but we need to be practical, this is close to our work and it’s a big enough lot to build a humble home with a big yard...”
She cuts him off “Sam, what’s your point?”
He takes a deep breath as he presents her with a little blue box “Will you make me the luckiest man alive? Sarah, will you marry me?”
He has a huge grin on his face, expecting this to be the greatest moment in their life. She’s looking down at the ring, unable to move, she looks back at him with tears in her eyes.
She starts to stutter “I’m, uhm, I’m...” she takes a deep breath and roughly wipes her tears “I can’t.”
The smile on his face changes so quickly. He looks at her with devastation, tears starting to pool in his own eyes, not making a single move.
Following her heart she grabs her bag and storms out of the car and starts walking away.
****
She never went on her business trip. At a time like this business was the last thing she wanted to deal with. There was only one place in the world she wanted to be – the beach. Every year she would tell her father that she would be arriving a week after she actually left America because she would always make a stop at the beach before coming home. The beach was her safe place; it was where she felt free to be whoever she wanted to be. And at a time like this to be alone was all she really wanted.
****
It’s another beautiful sunny morning and the crowds have already come out to enjoy the summer heat on the beach. He stands on the porch of his home, overlooking the beach, coffee in hand. His bar doesn’t open til mid afternoon and he’s wondering what to do today. The view from his porch looked like a painting that someone dreamed up which inspired him to do some picture taking today. HE heads back inside his home and takes a quick shower before heading out to the beach.
She’s sitting in the sand by the shoreline feeling the waves as they wash over her feet. She breathes in the cool crisp air and tries to clear her mind. She leans back a little, the wind blowing her hair, and feels the warmth of the sun on her skin. This was the place where she felt most at home.
He stands under a palm tree, camera in hand, ready to take a shot of a boat sailing in the water. Just as he is about to take the picture a hat comes flying his way and lands just over his camera. He puts his camera down and lifts the hat as he searches around him for the owner. To his left he sees a woman, clad in a white sun dress, running towards him with her sandals in hand. The wind is blowing her hair about and she stumbles slightly struggling to keep her balance in the sand.
She stops right in front of him and trying to catch her breath she grabs hold of her hair with her free hand and sweeps it to one side.
“Thank you” she finally utters with a smile as she reaches for her hat.
He is at a loss for words he just stares at her mesmerizing smile. She uncomfortably smiles at him once more before saying thank you and walking away.
She already had her back turned when he snapped out of his daze and said “You’re welcome” out loud, just a moment too late.
Hearing him she turns around and flashes another smile at him. Without him realizing it he too starts to smile as he watches her gracefully walk along the shoreline.
She stops for a moment bending down to help a little girl with the straps of her sandals. This gave him enough time to grab his camera and take a quick shot of her. He looks down at the screen of his camera and smiles wondering who this wonderful mystery woman was.
TBC
Friday, August 5, 2011
Where Do Broken Hearts Go XII
Six months passed and they had no communication whatsoever. Sarah continued on her journey and John Lloyd continued on with his life back home. Sarah was so busy with school and extracurricular activities that those six months passed by without her even noticing. John Lloyd counted down the months, weeks, and days till he would see her again. It would be a lie to say he was never tempted to date or that he never got tired of waiting. But at the end of the day his love for her was stronger than any temptation that made itself available to him. For him the day he flew back to where she was could not come any sooner.
It hadn’t occurred to her that in a week she and he would be in the same city again and that she soon had to decide whether or not she was ready to pursue a future with him. He may not have said it directly but Sarah knew that if she wasn’t ready now she might as well never be ready because he wasn’t likely to wait any longer. A week before their awaited reunion he sent her an email to remind her of his arrival:
Miss me? Well six months have finally passed... I’ll see you in a bit.
- Idan
The email was short and to the point but it didn’t tell her much. She was left wondering when they would see each other and whether or not he still felt the same way about her. The email was casual and she could decipher from this email what it was she was to expect from their meeting again.
Day after day she would search around social networking sites and forums for news of whether or not they had departed from the Philippines and when they were expected to arrive. Ever since she left showbiz she steered clear of anything remotely related to it but in his email he said nothing about when the concert was all he said was see you in a bit. Well, how long is “in a bit”. Every day that passed that he didn’t come around to see her left her anxious thus she had to get answers and the best way to do so without going straight to the source was to get it from the fans. After lurking through several forums she found that the concert was in two days and that he had departed the day before.
“So, he is here?” she whispered to herself as she stared at her computer screen.
It was a Wednesday and she had to rush straight to the coffeehouse for her set. The whole time she was performing she was bothered by the fact that he hadn’t contacted her. He said “see you in a bit” and yet he didn’t email her again nor did he come to see her. He knew where to find her so why hadn’t he come around yet?
That night she tossed and turned in bed wondering what was going on. “Maybe he couldn’t wait any longer,” she thought to herself, “maybe he’s not coming back for me. What if he’ll see me in a bit just to tell me he’s fallen in love with someone else?” It bothered her that he was in the same city as her and yet he didn't even email her to tell her so.
The next day she had had it. It was time to take matters into her own hands; she wasn’t going to wait on him any longer. She spent the day carefully planning our how she was going to go about seeing him again. She didn’t care if in the end she would look like a fool if he indeed had fallen in love with another all she cared about was seeing him and knowing the truth now because the waiting was killing her.
Friday morning she went about her business and got her things together. Tonight was the night of the Star Magic concert that he was in the city for. The day went like any other day for her and come evening she was at the coffeehouse ready to get up on stage. Before starting her first set she looked at her watch, 7 PM, the concert must have just started. She takes her place on stage and starts to sing. 8:45 PM and she is about to start her second set. The concert was nearing an intermission. It was half past 9 when Sarah came around to her last song for the night, her last song at this coffeehouse.
“The past year singing at this coffeehouse and sharing my music with all of you has brought me a happiness that I have long been searching for. I first set foot in this coffeehouse during an open mic night last year. I was at a place in my life where I was trying to find my way back to who I wanted to be as opposed to whom people expect me to be. I walked into this coffeehouse with a broken heart and with the hope of finding my way back home. A part of me will always be with this coffeehouse and I will truly miss sharing my Wednesday and Friday evenings with all of you but it’s time that I pack up and move forward. Although it saddens me to be saying goodbye, I am glad to say my heart has found its way back home. For anybody in the crowd who may be nursing a broken heart this song is for you, I hope that like myself your heart will find its way back home.”
[N.B. Where Do Broken Hearts Go by Whitney Houston]
And with that she begins to sing “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” by Whitney Houston.
At the end of the song the crowd stands on their feet and gives her a hand. She smiles at the crowd and bows for the last time. Before she runs out of the coffeehouse she says her thank you’s and good-bye’s to the coffeehouse crew and takes her usual coffee to go. She hails for a taxi right away and quickly rushes to the concert venue.
The concert venue was a ways from the coffeehouse and the traffic didn’t help. She looked at her watch constantly as she waited in the taxi. Quarter after 10 and still they had a fair ways to go. 10:30 PM and they’re stuck in traffic due to a vehicular accident at the intersection. Sarah looked out her window and then pulled out her wallet from her purse. She hands the taxi driver the money she owed him and hopped out of the taxi. She ran to the side walk and started walking. The venue couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes away from where she was. As she was walking the rain started to pour. She was dressed in an above the knee spring dress and wedge sandals. She had no umbrella or sweater with her to help her stay dry so she ran as fast as she possibly could to avoid getting soaked. Normally she would have had no problem walking in the rain and getting soaked but today was no ordinary day. She had spent over an hour staring at herself in the mirror, changing outfits and fixing her make-up, to make sure she looked her best when she saw him tonight. But, the rain ruined it all, her hair was a mess her makeup had smudged and her dress was soaking wet. But that didn’t stop her she just kept on running. Right in front of the venue she slips and falls to the ground hurting her ankle.
She sits for a second in the rain thinking about how ridiculous she must look right now and she wonders whether or not it was even worth staying to see him still. She could imagine in her head how silly she would look limping up to John Lloyd looking the way she looked right now. She looked up at the sky and let the rain just hit her face, laughing a little at how this night was turning out. Just as she is about to get up to hail a taxi and head back home the crowd from the concert starts to exit the concert hall. Worried someone might take notice of her she limps to the side of the building and hides for a bit. As the crowd exited the venue Sarah slowly walked towards the back of the building trying to avoid bumping into anybody. As she is passing by the side door it swings open and almost hits her. Startled she jumps and faces the person standing at the doorway. Trying to get a better look at who is standing at the doorway she wipes her face and looks directly at him.
“Sarah?” he says.
Wide eyed she replies softly, “Sam...”
He smiles and gives her a hug. “I’m so happy to see you. You know I was worried about you, how have you been?”
Just as he is talking she sees John Lloyd pass behind him.
She looks up at Sam and replies, “We’ll have lots of time to talk later. Mind if I come in there’s something I need to do...”
Sam looks at her questioningly; confused as to what it is she is in such a rush to do.
“There’s someone I really need to speak with...” she says with urgency.
He asks no more questions and just steps aside to let her in. She looks at him briefly and says thank you as she rushed to follow John Lloyd.
John Lloyd is standing at the lobby with some of the other artists as some fans were lining up for autographs and their table was being set. Sarah appears from behind taking small slow steps, limping to one side. With every step her doubts about whether this was the right thing to do grew and her heart started pounding even stronger. Finally someone takes notice of her and you can hear as people started to audibly whisper amongst each other. Everybody’s question: “Si Sarah ba yan?” Suddenly one by one some of the artists started turning their heads to see what everyone was pointing at only to find Sarah standing in the lobby soaking wet. Finally someone taps John Lloyd’s shoulder and he turns around and sees her.
She nervously smiles at him as she says “Hi...”
He starts to make his was over to her with a confused look on his face. Now face to face with her he asks “Anong ginagawa mo dito? Pupuntahan dapat kita bukas... Sarah, ang daming tao dito, paano na yung secret mo?”
Looking him straight in the eyes she shakes her head “It doesn’t matter anymore...”
Still confused he asks “Anong ibig mong sabihin.”
“You once told me that it didn’t matter which life I chose to live because, if I would have you, you would gladly live that life with me. And I’m hoping that that offer still stands. I don’t know with certainty what it is I want to do, if I want to continue on with my simple life here or if I wanna go back home and hopefully revive my career but I do know one thing is certain, I love you. And to be perfectly honest it doesn’t matter if I’m here or there because as long as I’ve got you I’ll be happy because your heart is where I am home. I want you; I want a life with you...”
He said nothing he just pulled her into an embrace and then as he pulls away he takes her face in his hands and kisses her softly on the lips before uttering "I love you" back to her.
The two had not a care in the world, at this very moment it didn’t matter who else was in the room because finally their broken hearts were whole again.
****
[N.B. Your Home Is in My Heart by Boyz II Men]
He stares at the closed doors as “Your Home Is In My Heart” by Boyz II Men starts to play in the background. As the singer starts to sings the door swings open and his eyes immediately lock with hers. With her parents at her side, and before their friends and family, she walks down the aisle with a smile on her face. He wipes away some tears as she approaches the altar. He smiles his sweetest smile as he takes her hand from her father’s and walks her to their position in front of the altar. As the song fades away they look at each other, their eyes so full of love, and he mouths “I love you.” To which she replies “I love you too.”
The journey may have been long and they may have had to endure some broken hearts but in the end their once broken hearts found their way back to each other, back to the open arms of a love that was waiting for them, for that "IN TIME". Finally it was time.
THE END.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Where Do Broken Hearts Go XI
“Kung iniisip mo na hinahanap kita o na may nakapagsabi sa kin na nandito ka, nagkakamali ka. This was an innocent vacation, a break from my busy schedule.” He took a moment to gather his thoughts before he continued, “You broke my heart. Alam mo ba kung paano mo winasak yung puso ko? Yung mundo ko? Sarah, getting over you was the hardest thing I ever had to do and finding you was the last thing I’d want to do...”
She had her head bowed down, tears soaking her cheeks. She knew she had hurt him but hearing him tell her, hearing the pain and coldness in his voice made it hurt all the more. This was what she was expecting from him when she first saw him earlier that night and now she wished he had said this right then and there rather than acting kind towards her. She doesn’t understand why he acted so kindly earlier that evening if in the end he was going to be so vicious. Why did he have to give her hope that this wasn’t going to be as dreadfully awful as she imagined it would be, as it is turning out to be?
“So lumabas din yung totoo. If you’re not here for me then why call for my attention? So, nakita mo ako sa coffeehouse that didn’t mean you had to reacquaint yourself with me...I had already walked out without seeing you, kung hindi mo ako sinundan we wouldn’t be here now. So bakit mo nga ba ako hinabol?” she asks as she held back her tears and tried to sound just as cold and ruthless as he did.
“Kasi nabura lahat nang galit at sakit na naramdaman ko dati nung nakita kita. Dahil mahal pa rin kita sa kabila nang lahat nang nangyari I still love you.”
He waited patiently for her to say something but she remained silent. Just as he was about to get up and walk towards her he heard her shuffle through the hallway back into the room and slam the door shut. She didn’t need say anything because he got the picture; he understood where she stood in all of this and where he stood in her life.
Sarah sat up in bed all night long the words “I still love you” on repeat in her mind. She loved him and she knew that she just wasn’t ready to tell him yet. So, she did the one thing she had become good at - running away. Everything was just happening so quickly. One minute she was peacefully living her life and then next thing she knew the ghost of her past had come back to haunt her. Things were only starting to get better; she was only starting to get back to the place she needed to be in order to be true to her heart and to him. But now she felt like the last year had been a waste because she was right back where she started – lost, hurt, and broken.
In the morning when she woke up he was no longer there. In the living room atop the sofa was her blanket, perfectly folded, and on top of that lied a folded up piece of paper. She took the sheet of paper and sat down on the sofa to read it.
Sarah,
Sorry kung nagulo ko ulit yung buhay mo. I guess I was being selfish inisp ko lang yung sarli ko and how great I would feel if you returned my love. Hindi ko inisip kung ano ang magiging epekto nang pagbabalik ko sa buhay mo. I should have known better, umalis ka dati kasi ayaw mo na and I should’ve gotten the message then. Siguro there’s just a part of me that can’t let go. Again I’m sorry for any pain and trouble I may have caused. Thank you for letting me spend the night and for dinner.
- John Lloyd
She put the letter back down and just stared at the blanket that was lying on the sofa. She picked it up and hugged it in her arms. She wasn’t ready to welcome him back into her life but she also didn’t want him to think that she didn’t love him because she did and she was praying that their time would still come, someday. She suddenly felt so empty. So, she curled up on the sofa and wrapped the blanket around herself, not in the mood to go out or do anything. She may have done it, she may have ruined any slim chance there was of them still having a future together and now she was questioning whether she had made the right choices and if anything she had was worth losing him forever.
Even if she wanted to run after him and tell him she loved him it was too late because she had no way of contacting him. And by the sound of his letter he had no plans of ever coming to see her again. So, she had no choice but to live with her decision and to go on living.
****
She finished her final set on Wednesday night and she was standing at the counter waiting for her coffee that she was taking to go.
“Hi...” she heard so familiarly from behind her.
She turned around and saw him standing behind her a shy smile on his face. She turned for a second to grab her coffee and then says “Hi...” back, surprised that he had come back.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
Unsure of what else there was to talk about she bit her lower lip and reluctantly nodded her head. He started walking towards a booth near the back of the coffeehouse but she taps his shoulder and tilts her head towards the door. He shrugs his shoulders and follows her out the door.
“Saan tayo?” he asks as quickens his pace to keep up with her.
She looks to her left to where he is standing and answers “Wala, it’s such a beautiful night I was just in the mood for a walk. Okay lang? We can talk and walk at the same time naman diba?”
He looks up at the star filled sky and breathes in the crisp cool air and replies “It is a beautiful night...”
She smiles as she takes a sip of her coffee. They walked for a bit in silence but when it got just a tad to awkward Sarah asked “So... may sasabihin ka?”
“Huh?” he asked looking at her questioningly.
“Diba you wanted to talk?”
“Ah, oo nga pala. I wanted to say sorry for leaving the way I did. Ano kasi naduwag ako. Ang lakas nang loob kung magpakita sa yo at sabihin sa yo na mahal pa rin kita pero nung hindi ka sumagot na takot ako sa pwedeng mangyari the next morning. So I saved myself from the agony of a dreadful morning at your expense and I’m sorry because you don’t deserve that.”
“Lloydie, you don’t have to say sorry ako dapat yung magsorry kasi lagi na lang kitang tinatakbohan...” she takes a seat on the staircase of the building they were standing in front of and took a deep breath in and out getting ready to tell him what her heart truly felt.
“Mahirap i-explain kung bakit lagi na lang kitang tinatalikuran and sa totoo lang hindi naman importante kung ano yung mga reasons ko for running away. If there is anything you need to know it’s that not once did I run away because I didn’t love you. Mahal kita, Lloydie, and to say otherwise would be to tell the greatest lie. My love for you has never wavered the problem has always been with myself. Alam ko cliché yung sabihin kong it’s not you, it’s me pero yun yung totoo. May mga bagay akong kailangan harapin, things I need to do on my own before I am ready to give my heart, unconditionally. I’m not asking you to wait because that would be selfish of me. It's just... I don’t want you to think I don’t love you or that all this time I’ve only been playing with your heart. My love for you is the truest thing in my life and I just needed you to know that, even if you don’t take that love when I’m ready to give it...”
He takes her hand into his, squeezing it tightly and placing it onto his cheek.
“I love you and if space is what you need then it is what I will give you. I don’t want to promise you anything I can’t keep for certain so I won’t promise to wait forever. I’ll be back here in 6 months for a concert sana pagbalik ko handa ka na.”
They smiled at each other no more words need be spoken. He walked her back to her apartment and said his goodbyes.
“I’ll see you in 6 months...” he said to her from the bottom of the staircase just outside her apartment building.
“See you...” she said with the sweetest smile as she waved good-bye.
He waved back at her and she turned around to open the door. Just as she was about to go inside he called after her again.
“Sarah.”
She turns around and looks at him questioningly
“I love you.” He said proudly.
She giggled softly and answered “Mahal din kita.”
With that he waved good-bye for the last time and waited outside her apartment till he saw the light in her apartment turn on.
TBC