One and Only VI

She’s sitting on the bed as he holds a private, one time only, concert for her. She’s bent forward laughing at him as he sings and dances comically before her. He stops for a moment to catch his breath but does not continue on again afterwards. Captivated he loses himself in her laughter, again. He’s just staring at her as she laughs and he smiles, so thrilled to be the reason behind her happiness. She finally gets a hold of herself and her laughter starts to calm down. She sees him just staring at her and she blushes.

“You have to stop doing that” she blurts out to him.

He raises his eyebrows and innocently asks “Ang alin?”

“Yung pagtitig mo, nacoconcious ako... lalo na pag balik natin nang Pilipinas baka...”

He puts his finger on her lips and shakes his head “Diba we agreed not to worry about tomorrow? We’ll cross the bridge when we get there.”

“Pero...”

“-Ah”

“Kasi...”

“-Sarah” he says looking at her sternly

She forfeits and says to him “Fine. So ayaw mong pagusapan natin yung bukas eh yung kahapon pwede?”

He looks at her confused “Anong ibig mong sabihin”

“Yung past can we talk about the past, your past...”

He wanted to say no. Sure he had nothing to hide but he’s not proud of who he was in his past relationships he doesn’t want her to see him now as the same guy he use to be cause he has changed.

Sensing that he got the wrong impression she makes herself more clear.

“Past as in yung childhood mo. Wag kang magalala I don’t care to know about your past relationships or your ex-girlfriends. Gusto ko lang marinig yung mga kwento mo about your childhood, alam mo yung fondest memories mo. Sige na, humor me please...” she begs.

He sighs relieved and closes his eyes trying to think of what stories he can share with her. As if a light bulb just turned on in his head he quickly smirks and opens his eyes

“Ah alam ko na...”

They spent the entire night sharing stories about their childhood, sharing with each other bits and pieces of their life, learning about each others hopes and dreams.

He’s telling her a story about him in his early days in showbiz when she lets out a yawn. He pauses and looks at her afraid that he’s boring her.

“Sorry, sorry, sige lang ituloy mo yung kwento mo...”

“Na bo-bore ka na ata eh...”

“Hindi natutuwa nga ako na your finally opening up to me, ano lang medyo inaantok na ako...”

He looks over at the clock at the bedside it’s already 2 AM

“2 o’clock na pala. Hindi ko na napansin yung oras, sige next time ko na lang itutuloy yung kwento ko. Matulog na tayo”

He picks up one of the pillows and is about to get himself settled on the floor.

“Anong ginagawa mo?” she asks him

“Inaayos yung tutulugan ko”

“Bakit? Ano ka ba, dito ka na matulog sa kama, kasya naman tayo eh...”

Confused he just stares at her. She was asking him to share the same bed as her? That just didn’t seem to make any sense to him at all.

“Dito ka naman natulog kagabi ah. Wala namang mangyayari eh, matutulog lang naman tayo. Tsaka matigas yang sahig baka sumakit pa yang likod mo.”

He smiles and teases her. “Woo aminin mo na gusto mo lang akong makatabi eh ang sarap kasi nang tulog mo kagabi no?”

Defensively she answers “Ah ganun? Sige wag na lang dyan ka na matulog. Nagmamagandang loob na nga ako tapos ganyan ka pa...”

He’s holding back his smile “Eto naman nag tampo agad, niloloko lang kita...”

She doesn’t answer. He puts his pillow down beside her and lies down on his back. She has her back turned to him and her eyes closed.

“Sarah...” he says turning his head in her direction.

She doesn’t answer. He pouts and turns to his side as well, their backs facing each other.

“Goodnight” he says as he closes his eyes.

She opens her eyes and looks over her shoulder only to find his back facing her. She, just like him, pouts her lips and lays her head back down.

She can’t sleep. She’s tossing and turning but she just can’t get comfortable. He can’t sleep with her moving about every few seconds so he turns back and faces her.

“Ba’t di ka makali? Gusto mo bang sa sahig na lang ako matulog...”

She sighs and turns to face him. She shakes her head and whispers “Ikaw kasi eh ang lakas mong mang asar...”

He smiles at her amused at her childlike qualities.

“Sorry na” he says as he kisses her forhead and says goodnight again.

She lies back down onto her back and he stays on his side facing her. She can feel him staring at her.

With her eyes closed she says “Matulog ka na, bukas pag gising mo pangako walang magbabago sa itsura ko.”

He chuckles at her then lies back down onto his back.

In the morning they were lying face to face her head on his arm again and tucked just at the crook of his neck. She has her arms between their chests and he has his other arm wrapped around her. Again she wakes up first. She tries to move but he is holding her tightly so instead she just looks up at him. She smiles at the sight of him peacefully sleeping. She closes her eyes again and just enjoys this languid moment in his arms. Soon after he wakes up and loosens his grip on her. She opens her eyes again and looks back up at him. He looks down and smiles upon seeing her. He could get use to this, waking up beside her without a care in the world.

“Good morning” she mumbles covering her mouth

“Ano?” he asks her

“Sabi ko good morning” she says turning her head away.

Confused he just stares at her.

“Sandali toothbrush muna ako...” she finally says as she moves away from him.

As she is brushing her teeth he sits up cups his hand in front of his mouth and breathes out. He shakes his head and whispers to himself “Ako din, kailangan kong magtoothbrush.”

This is his last day in London with her, tomorrow morning he had to catch his flight back to Manila.

The two go out for breakfast today and just like yesterday they tour the city and just enjoy each others company. Later in the afternoon as they are sitting in the park again John Lloyd can’t help but notice how quiet Sarah had suddenly become.

He looks over at her “Okay ka lang ba? Kanina ka pa tahimik, masama ba pakiramdam mo?”

She shakes her head “Hindi naisip ko lang bukas magisa na lang akong mamasyal dito...”

He puts his arm around her and rests her head on his shoulder “I wish I could stay kaya lang hindi talaga pwede eh may mga proyekto ako na hindi na makakapagantay... tsaka mas mabuti na yung mauna ako para hindi nila matunogan na magkasama tayo ngayon.”

She knows he’s right she just wishes that this would never end. She doesn’t tell him that she’s afraid things will never be like they are now when they go back to the “real” world but she knows that she’s not suppose to be thinking about the future.

Back at the hotel they are having dinner together on the balcony. She has managed to keep a happy front the entire day, trying to enjoy every second she had left with him before he had to leave. 7 PM the clock read she only had 10 more hours with him.

They're sitting back in the room and he's making kwento about his childhood again but he notices that she's not really listening to him.

"Boring ba?" he asks her.

She looks back at him and asks "Ang alin?"

"Yung kwento ko, hindi ka nakikinig?"

"Ah, uhm, hindi kasi..." she looks down she can't event think of a proper excuse.

He moves closer to her "Anong iniisip mo?"

She sighs and says "I know we agreed not to talk about what's going to happen next but Lloydie aalis ka na in less that 10 hours... what happens to us when you leave? Anong mangyayari sa tin pag balik natin sa mundo natin? I mean what are we ba? What were these last two days? I can't help thinking about the future because I don't even know what we are now I don't know what to expect when I come home because I don't know what we are... I mean is this it, is this as far as we go...?"

He shakes his head "Of course not. Sarah, mahal kita, whether nandito tayo sa London or sa Pinas or kahit saan pa sa mundo. It doesn't matter where we are what matters is who we are and whether nandito tayo or nasa Pinas who I am and what my heart is wont change."

She wishes she could say the same but things aren't the same back home, she isn't as free as she is right now. She's afraid that their love wont survive their reality. Right now she isn't under the spotlight, there aren't a million eyes watching her every move, judging her every choice. She wants to believe that the people they both are right now is the same as the people they are under the spotlight but she knows that there are parts or her and parts of him that they didn't bring along with them here. Sure it didn't matter what part of the world they were in but it did matter whether or not they were just plain old Sarah and John Lloyd or if they were Sarah, the Popstar Princess, and John Lloyd, the Best Actor.

He wraps his arms around her and she just closes her eyes wanting so hard to believe him, to believe that nothing is going to change.

They don't sleep that night instead they sit on the balcony watching the sun set and rise again in the morning. They enjoy every second they have together before he has to leave.

It's 3 AM and he has to leave for the airport soon. She's standing there by the window as he is doing some last minute packing. She watches him, fear creeping up into her heart. She tries to calm herself as she watches him but she can't help but feel so torn watching him get ready to leave. A tear falls down her cheek but she manages to wipe it before he looks up at her.

The two head down to the lobby and call for a taxi.

At the airport she's sitting beside him waiting for him to board his plane. Both are quiet, she's rehearsing in her head all the things she wants to say to him before he leaves. She looks at her watch 4:40 AM, he'll be boarding any minute now.

"Idan..." she whispers

He looks over at her shocked, that's the first time she's called him that in a long time. She takes a deep breath.

"Ayokong umalis ka ngayon nang hindi mo nalalaman kung ano talaga yung nararamdaman ko for you. Don't get me wrong, wala pa ring nagbabago marami pa rin akong mga takot na kailangan kong harapin but I want you to know that in spite of all my fears I still choose to love you. Mahal kita, mahal na mahal and natatakot ako na baka pag balik ko sa Pilipinas I wont be strong enough to fight for this. If this was our life, if everyday would be just like the last two days hindi ako magdadalawang isip na ibigay sa yo nang buong buo yung puso ko. Pero alam naman nating pareho na ibang ibang ito sa mundo natin. With you right here I'm brave and I'm strong but I can't promise that I can be just as brave and strong back home. So I just want you to know that I do love you very much and no matter what happens I will always cherish in my heart these last 2 days."

She has tears running down her cheek. He wipes them away and says "It doesn't end here, I promise"

She hated those words - I promise but right now she just didn't have the strength to say anything more. She just sits there in his arms praying that he is right.

TBC