Where Do Broken Hearts Go II

She’s sitting in the centre of the room her face in her hands. She’s thinking deeply trying to internalize but to no avail. She yells out softly in her hands out of frustration. They had been at this for almost two hours and she was starting to get frustrated with herself because she couldn’t channel the right emotions. She’s tired and she’s starting to think that maybe she was biting off more that she could chew. Who was she kidding, she thought to herself, she's completely out of her league. In that very moment she starts to believe that this was a complete and utter mistake.

John Lloyd and their director are sitting together at one end of the room just watching her. They silently watch her, giving her an opportunity to soak in her frustrations. They both had complete faith in her, they knew she was capable of delivering a stellar performance and they knew that this frustration she was feeling would help her trigger the right emotions.

Suddenly she yells out loud “Ayoko na!” with her face still buried in her hands.

Their director is about to approach her but he raises his hand signalling to her that he would handle this himself. He then approaches her and takes a seat just across from her. He sits there for a moment contemplating his next move. Finally, he pulls her by her wrists and forces her to look up at him. She has her lips pouted as she stares at him like a child lost at a grocery store, her tears and make-up smudged across her face. He removes his hands from her wrists and starts to wipe her face trying his best to clean up the mess her tears and make-up had made. She is still sobbing as he wipes her tears and she takes quick short breaths trying her very best to control her sobbing.

He remains calm and reassuringly tells her that this was going to work. “Tama naman yung emotions mo eh, kailangan mo lang matutunang kontrolin yung mga emosyon mo. Kaya nga tayo nagwo-workshop, diba, para magawa natin nang maayos pag nasa harap na tayo nang camera. Kaya mo to, I have faith in you. Ikaw pa eh ikaw na yata ang pinakatalented na taong nakilala ko.” He smiles at her hoping this was enough to calm her down and give her the much needed confidence that she lacked.

Success – just like that he managed to turn her frown upside down. She lifted her hand up to her face and placed them over top of his. She held his hand in hers as she removed it from her face, gently squeezing it, and placed it on her lap.

“Salamat, it means a lot to me knowing you have faith in me. Alam ko naman na hindi mo kailangang gawin to. John Lloyd Cruz ka na eh, award winning actor, you shouldn’t have to put up with amateurs like me... kaya salamat kasi pinagbigyan mo ako”

He bows his head down as he shakes it; their hands still clasped together on her lap “It’s an honour and a privilege working with you... Hindi ka pa rin nagbabago hindi mo pa rin narerealize kung gaano ka kasikat at kagaling. Isa lang naman ang kulang sa yo eh, tiwala sa sarili...”

Their director is just watching them from afar with a smile on her face. As she watches them she shakes her head feeling somewhat heartbroken for what could have been between these two. She wishes she didn’t have to ruin the moment for the two but they were on the clock and time was running out for them. She breaks up the moment and resumes the workshop trying to guide the two in the right direction with regards to their characters.

It was a long and tiring day for the both of them but having each other to feed off of made things somewhat easier for them both. After today she was reminded of why it was such a joy to work with him in the past and she is quite pleased with her decision to work with him again. He too is reminded of the ease she brought to him and he can hardly wait for their next acting workshop together. They are happily talking about sweet nothings as they walk out of the room but their conversation is cut short when his phone rings.

It was his girlfriend returning his call from earlier today. As he talks with his girlfriend on the other line Sarah awkwardly listens to his side of the conversation, as she continues to walk by his side with her head bowed down.

“Sige magiingat ka. I love you.” He says before hanging up his phone.

Upon hearing their conversation end Sarah looks back up and paints a smile on her face trying to not look so disappointed upon being brought back to reality. For a moment, before his girlfriend called, it felt like the way it was before. For a moment, she forgot that they were both in serious relationships. But now she remembered and she felt confused as to why his girlfriend calling him upset her.

“Ano nga ulit yung pinaguusapan natin?” He asks nonchalantly.

“Uhm...ano nga ba?” she asks back not being able to recall what they had been conversing about. She was so bothered by what she was feeling that she couldn’t think straight.

He laughs out loud at the fact that neither of them could a recall a conversation that occurred just minutes ago and scratches his head as he says “Pagod na nga siguro tayo...”

She softly chuckles and just as she is about to say something someone calls out for her. She looks up and sees her boyfriend waiting by the exit for her. She makes her way over to him with John Lloyd walking behind her.

“Oh. Anong ginagawa mo dito? Sabi ko naman sa yo magpahinga ka na lang kasi maaga pa yung flight mo bukas...”

“Yun na nga eh maaga yun flight ko so hindi na tayo magkikita, one month din akong mawawala kaya I wanted to see you first.”

She gushes over his cheesiness and sweetly smiles at him as she takes his hand. John Lloyd who is standing closely behind her whispers under his breath “Ang corny ha...”

Sarah then turns around, upon hearing him mumbling, and remembered that he was with her. “Sorry, nawala sa isip ko na kasama kita. Uhm, John Lloyd si Jacob, boyfriend ko. Jacob, si John Lloyd.”

Jacob extends his hand to John Lloyd as he says “It’s nice to meet you.”

John Lloyd takes Jacob’s hand and shakes it “Yea, nice to meet you...” he says faking a smile.

After a brief moment of silence Jacob puts his arm around Sarah’s shoulders and they say their goodbyes before making their way outside of the building. John Lloyd watches as they walk away together and again that pang of jealousy makes its way back into his heart.

He spends the night tossing and turning in bed. He didn’t understand the things he was feeling, it didn’t make any sense to him. He couldn’t be jealous, why should he be jealous? He was in a happy relationship too, he too was in love, or so he thought. He opens his eyes in frustration, unable to sleep, and lays flat on his bed staring at the ceiling.

I’m not jealous he thinks to himself.

“Kaibigan ko si Sarah and I’ve seen her get hurt in the past. Concerned lang ako, that’s it I just don’t want to see her get hurt again, kasi she doesn’t deserve it....” he spends the night talking to himself, trying to convince himself that he was just looking out for a good friend and not jealous, not jealous at all.

TBC