Where Do Broken Hearts Go VIII

Earlier that day

Sarah was walking the hallways, with her phone in hand, when she bumped into someone. To her surprise it was his girlfriend, correction ex girlfriend, but she didn’t know that yet. She awkwardly smiled at her and noticed her puffy and tired eyes. Suddenly she started to feel worried, remembering John Lloyd say that he would take care of everything yesterday. "Did he end it already?" she thought to herself as she blankly stared back at her. There was an awkward silence between the two of them. She didn’t know what had happened thus she didn’t know what to say or do. Sarah secretly prayed that someone would show up or that someone would call – anything to give her a reason to excuse herself. The silence was then broken when his ex girlfriend spoke up.

“Masaya ka na ba?” she asked, her voice shaky, doing her best to contain her tears.

Sarah looks down unable to look at her cry. She felt guilty about doing this to her, about the pain the other was feeling. She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t even know how to answer her question. Was she happy? Truthfully – no, this isn’t the way things were suppose to turn out she never wanted to hurt anyone.

“Okay na kami eh. Hindi mo na dapat ginulo yung buhay namin. You had your chance pero pinakawalan mo sya bakit ba kung kelan may iba na tsaka ka babalik? Mahal na mahal ko sya...” she said softly but the anger was evident in her voice. With her last word she wiped her tears and coldly glared at Sarah before walking past her, making sure to bump her shoulder against hers.

As his ex girlfriend passed by her tears started to run down her cheek and her mind was filled with worrying thoughts.

******

He slowly walks over to her, fear creeping in, but before he could come close she put her hand up signalling him to stop and she looks up. She doesn’t turn to face him she just stares at herself in the mirror.

“Hindi ko ata kaya...” she utters with tears uncontrollably escaping her eyes.

He starts to feel weak in the knees but he manages to keep himself up hoping this isn’t what it sounded like. He stares at her silently, his eyes turning misty.

“Akala ko kaya ko nang ipaglaban yung pagmamahalan natin pero hindi ko ata kaya...” she’s breathing heavily in between her sobbing.

He takes a couple more steps towards her and falls to his knees at her side. He takes her face in his hands and turns it to face him. His hands are trembling; he didn’t know what changed, what caused her to suddenly give up.

“Anong nangyari?” he slowly says, trying his best to keep his cool even if inside he was falling apart.

She takes his hands from her face and holds them in her hands. “Tama sya. Masaya na kayo, hindi ko na dapat ginulo pa yung buhay ninyo...”

Realizing that she had spoken with his ex girlfriend he takes her hands and kisses them before he speaks up.

“Kahit hindi ka dumating, kahit hindi ka bumalik sa hiwalayan din mapupunta ang lahat kasi hindi ko sya mahal. Ikaw ang mahal ko.”

He’s hoping this was enough to ease all her inhibitions. He couldn’t lose her, not now, not ever but it felt like she was pulling away from him again.

She lets go of his hands and with all her strength she looks him straight in the eyes and says “Paano mo masisiguro na hindi ka magiging masaya sa piling nya kung hindi ako bumalik? Lloydie kahit papaano minahal mo sya at malaki ang chance na sya yung makakasama mo habang buhay kung hindi ko ginulo ang lahat. Kung hindi ako bumalik hindi mo naman marerealize na ako yung mahal mo...Mahal na mahal kita Lloydie pero paano ako magiging masaya knowing na inagaw kita sa iba. Ang hirap maging malaya para mahalin ka kung sa twing magkakasama tayo parang ang bigat nang dinadala ko. Para bang kahit gustohin nang puso ko may nagsasabi na mali, na hindi tayo ang dapat... Kahit malaya na tayo para maging masaya pakiramdam ko parang laging may nakahadlang at kahit anong gawin natin di na mawawala yun..."

Her lips are trembling as she says this and it takes everything in her to stand up and walk away from him. She was too afraid to fight for him. In her mind she was imagining what the headlines would say, what people would be saying about her, about their love and she just couldn’t face all of that. She chose to keep the memory of their love safely preserved in her heart and imagination rather than destroy it by pursuing a future together. She thought that ending this madness was what was best for them. Things were never easy for the two of them and maybe that was a sign that they were never meant to be. She wished she was strong enough to fight for their love but every time they tried to take a step forward something always came along and tore them apart. She couldn’t continue to do this; she couldn’t continue feeling guilty about loving him and the only way she could free herself from this guilt was to just walk away.

Once she started walking away she didn’t stop. She walked quickly through the hallways looking at nobody. Voices are calling out for her but she doesn’t turn back instead she speeds up her pace and wipes the tears from her face.

She got into the first taxi she saw and directed the driver to drive her home. Once home she asked the driver to wait outside for her while she grabbed some of her things. No one was home when she arrived which allowed her a fast exit. She grabbed her passport and some essentials before rushing back out to the taxi.

At the airport she took the first flight out of the Philippines headed towards the States. She didn’t know where she was going or what she was going to do all she knew was she needed to be away from her world, from the world that had him etched into her life. On the plane she leans her head back and stares out the window, tears still escaping from her eyes.

****

Movie production stopped and where Sarah disappeared to was a mystery to everyone. She sent a lengthy email to her sister explaining why she had to leave and why no one was to know of where she was. The mad world of showbiz had engulfed her entire being for the past 10 years and she had to escape. She didn’t know herself anymore; she didn’t know the sad eyes that stared back at her when she looked in the mirror and she didn’t know how she got this way.

Once upon a time it was all about one dream – to give her family a good life. But after all these years love, heartbreak and fame all got to be a little too much to handle. This isn’t the world she had envisioned, not the life she dreamed up. She had always wanted to sing and perform for many but she never asked for the baggage that came with fame. It had all happened too fast and now she didn’t know if she wanted any part of it anymore. It was no longer just about the right love at the wrong time, it was about the person she had become and whether or not she was happy with whom that was.

But beneath it all, even if she may not have known the eyes that stared back at her, one truth remained – she loved him more than she could ever put into words. Her love for him was the one thing she was surest of; the one truth in the midst of a life of pretending, she just didn't know how to fight for this love. All she really wanted was to love him, without the lights or the cameras, without an entire country watching and magnifying every single detail about their love. She knew she could lose him forever by running away once again but she knew deep inside she had to do this for herself. She needed to take herself out of the limelight to figure out what she really wanted, what she was willing to sacrifice in order to be happy again.

Once upon a time her happiness lied in that dream, the dream to perform for many, but now it no longer brought her happiness it only brought her pain, it only tore her away from the one thing she wanted, the one thing that made her happy - him. Maybe under different circumstances she could achieve that happiness with him but for as long as she was who she was and he was him their love could never survive.

She had so many unanswered questions that she needed to sort through and the only way she knew how to do so was to remove herself from the world that had complicated her life.

Was she ever going to go back? Was she going to choose her career and the mess that came with it or was she going to give it all up to take a chance with him? Would he still be there for her if she chose him?

Uncertainty was all she had. And all by herself in a world so different from the one she had become accustomed to she started her journey to rediscovering herself.

TBC

Where Do Broken Hearts Go VII

In a perfect world they would live happily ever after but unfortunately this world, this life, was no fairytale. Admitting to their true feelings made it easier for them to work together again but it didn’t make their situation any less difficult. They both agreed that they would deal with what was next for the two of them once they had ironed out all the kinks in their lives, once their situation was simpler. Jacob was still out of the country on business and Sarah wanted to end things with him face to face; she felt that she owed him that much. She dreaded the day because never in her life did she break someone’s heart intentionally and it was killing her thinking about hurting someone she truly cared about. He, on the other hand, found it hard to find time to talk to his girlfriend. Every time he was free she was busy or out of town. Some would say that whatever powers controlled fate was working against them and it seemed like it was trying to steer them away from one another. But that didn’t faze him, he didn’t care for signs he just cared for what his heart was telling him and she followed his lead.

Their relationship remained ambiguous and neither of them spoke freely about it. She particularly avoided the topic because to an extent it made her uncomfortable thinking about the commitments they still had and the feelings they shared. In her mind she knew it was over with Jacob but to her until it was officially over sharing a special something with John Lloyd would be cheating and that was the last thing she ever wanted to do. He knew she wasn’t just anybody and that if he wanted things to work with her he would have to make sure that they started off on the right foot. Thus, this time around he smartened up and followed her lead. He controlled his urge to be with her until he had fixed all the broken pieces in his life. They learnt to enjoy each other’s company without crossing the line. Whatever it was the two of them shared at the moment they learned to be content with.

They were sitting side by side on a park bench as the crew set up for the next scene having a casual conversation. She was exhausted from her long week of recordings, shootings, pictorials, etc and he could see the wearied look in her eyes. He playfully tells her jokes trying to get her to laugh hoping it would spark something in her and would, even momentarily, bring the sparkle back to her eyes. He tells a joke and she weakly starts to laugh. The joke wasn’t funny, and he knew it, she was just so worn out that his overwrought effort to be funny amused her. She turns to face him and with a faint smile she thanked him.

“Nagiging Kanto Boy ka nanaman...” she says faintly with a soft chuckle.

His eyes light up upon seeing her smile and he starts to make faces at her hoping for more than just a tired smile.

That did it. It was far more effective than any joke he could ever come up with. She laughs her usual contagious laugh again and her eyes are glowing with glee. She playfully slaps his arm as she throws her head back. He starts to laugh as well and the two just sit their enjoying the sound of each other’s happiness.

“Sarah...” a voice calls out softly from behind them.

That voice. She knew that voice like the back of her hand and instantly it stabbed right through her. She slowly turns her body in his direction and smiles tentatively, “Jacob...” she whispers softly.

*******

He’d be lying to himself if he denied that he knew something was wrong. He knew something was wrong the moment she started calling him every day, the suspicion grew when suddenly her calls came to a halt and she started making excuses up to cover up the truth. And now, the smile on her face when she was with John Lloyd and the worried expression on her face now confirmed his suspicions. They stood at a secluded part of the park and he had his back turned to her. The whole walk over there he didn’t say a word; he hardly even looked at her. She stands behind him, wringing her hands, afraid to be the first to speak.

“Mahal mo ba sya?” he finally asks.

She freezes in her spot, her eyes becoming misty. She didn’t answer him she just bowed her head down, ashamed at herself for doing this to him.

Moments passed and they were both silent. He then garners up the strength to finally turn around and look at her. She looked so broken and helpless and he could no longer contain his tears. He couldn’t find it in him to be angry with her at the moment. Right now he just wanted to wrap her in his arms, maybe for the last time, and hold her close to him. Looking at her, fragile and delicate, he remembers how they first started off – how shattered her heart was when he first met her and how he helped her put the pieces back together. Now here she was again, standing before him broken and fragile, but he knew that this time he couldn’t help her find her way back, he wasn’t the one who could mend her broken heart.

They didn’t say much, no yelling, no blaming one another, but that didn’t mean it was an easy breakup. She apologized and he forgave her to the best he could at the moment. He was frustrated with himself because regardless of how much it hurt and how much he wanted to be angry with her he just couldn’t. Maybe the anger was still to come, maybe when the news of her relationship with John Lloyd splashed all over the news, or maybe even tonight when she wasn’t helplessly standing before him. She waited for him to get angry, she waited for him to yell out in frustration, to slur out mean words but none of it came. He just walked away from her and she stood their feeling even guiltier. She wanted him to be angry she wanted to hear all the things he felt because that is what she deserved, or so she thought. Even at times when it was acceptable for him to be ruthless he still took the high road and that left her rattled. She spent the night praying that he would be okay, that he realize he deserved better than her, he deserved someone who could love and appreciate him completely. He was everything she had ever dreamed of but he wasn’t the one her heart ached for.

She was free from her commitments but he was still attached to his girlfriend so she continued to wait on him. He could see the struggle in her every time they were together and he knew he had to figure out a way to free her from this struggle, to free himself from his current relationship. On a cool Saturday night, after their shooting, he told her that he was going to take care of everything tonight; he ensured her that her struggle was ending soon. And he did exactly that.

She had just finished rehearsals for ASAP and she was surprised to learn that he was waiting in the dressing room for her. It had been weeks since they had seen each other and she was so touched that he went out of his way to see her. She excitedly walked into the room only to find John Lloyd pacing the floor with his head down. She starts to feel anxious when he looks up and she sees that troubled look on his face.

It wasn’t as civil as Sarah and Jacob’s breakup – there were tears, yelling, a slap on the cheek, a pounding on his chest, and some begging. She unlike him refused to give up on this relationship; she apologized to him, she promised to be a better girlfriend, to be more devoted to him but there was no way to fix this relationship. He tried his best to reassure her that it wasn’t her fault and that he was to blame. At the end of it all he had to admit to her that he was in love with someone else, that he had always been in love with someone else. He didn’t need to say who because she knew. She had known about her even before they started dating and she hoped that her love would be enough to make him forget her and she was frustrated that after everything they had been through together it was still Sarah. She walked out of the room leaving him there with his guilt.

He never wanted to hurt her but he just couldn’t lie to himself any longer.

*******

He excitedly walks the hallways of ABS-CBN making his way to Sarah’s dressing room. He was excited that finally they were both free to be together and they could finally act on their feelings. But as he walks into the room his huge grin is replaced by a worried expression when he sees Sarah sitting in front of the mirror, tears running down her cheek.

TBC

Where Do Broken Hearts Go VI

He has his head down thinking hard about what he was doing. She still has her eyes closed and tears are running down her cheek. The room is completely silent, the both of them afraid to say a single word. She sees his head bowed down before her when she opens her eyes and she briskly wipes the tears from her cheek. She’s breathing heavily in between her sobbing and she is trying hard not to cry but her tears are uncontrollable just like her emotions. He hears her sobbing to herself and finally looks up at her. He catches her gaze and too starts to cry, all of his bottled up emotions just exploding.

“I’m sorry” he uttered softly. He couldn’t find the right words to say and all he could find the strength to say at the moment was “I’m sorry”. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and that she was the most important thing to him right now but he knew it would only make matters worse because he was afraid of what can of worms those words could unleash. He acted compulsively and now he wonders if kissing her was the right thing to do – if he was ready to take responsibility for his actions. He doesn’t know where they go from here, what they were to do next, he knew he loved her but would that be enough to make it right this time around.

She was trembling, her entire body just in complete shock. She didn’t know what this kiss meant to him, if it meant as much to him as it did to her. But when she heard him say “I’m sorry”, those words just piercing right through her heart, she felt like her whole world just fell apart. Here she was ready to bare her heart to him and yet here he was acting like this was some nasty game.

She looks at him with scorn and sarcastically starts to laugh in between her sobs. Forcing a smile she says “I’m sorry? Yun lang? Pagkatapos nang lahat I’m sorry lang ang sasabihin mo?” She’s sobbing uncontrollably now and she wipes her tears furiously, frustrated with herself and her inability to control her emotions. She wanted so much to hear him say “I love you” even if it was wrong for him to love her now. She wanted him to tell her that she was as important to him as he was to her. She wanted to know that somewhere in this big mess was something right, that somehow all the guilt and pain she was feeling would be somewhat validated.

“Anong gusto mong sabihin ko?” he asks turning away from her, ashamed that he was too much of a coward to be honest with her.

She shakes her head as she continues to laugh at herself “Ang laki kong tanga. Alam mo ba yun? Pagkatapos kong magpaloko at masaktan, pagkatapos kong mabigo sa pagibig finally may nakilala akong tao na mahal ako nang buong buo at faithful sa kin... I have a perfectly great man in my life but here I am...” she pauses, choking on her words. She wipes her tears from her face again and softly says “eto ako, falling in love with someone else.”

She buries her face in her hands and continues to sob in frustration. He has his head bowed down unable to look at her. His heart was breaking for her and for himself. Nothing he said could pacify her and he knew that. He struggled to say anything; he struggled to even look at her at the moment. He felt guilty about doing this to her, about hurting her when that was that last thing he would ever want to do. She looks back up at his head bowed down and in between her sobs she helplessly says “What’s wrong with me? Bakit ba sa twing pinapapasok kita sa buhay ko...lagi na lang nahihirapan ang puso ko?”

She stands up and walks away from him. It took everything in her to muster up the strength to get up; she felt so weak, like all of her energy was sucked right out of her. She needed space from him, she needed air but there was no way out of the room. She stands by the window farthest from him and hugs herself tightly trying her very best to stop her tears.

He’s still kneeling down on the floor, his head still bowed down and tears still running down his cheek. There was nothing left to say or do but to be honest and true to himself. She laid it all out there, she was honest with herself and now it was time for him to be honest too. He slowly starts to sit up and with his back facing her he softly whispers “Mahal kita...”

She hears his soft whisper and turns her head slightly towards him her emotions going out of control again. She slowly sits down on the floor, her knees suddenly feeling weak, and just stares at his back silently. This is what she had been waiting for but for reasons she could not understand there was still heaviness in her heart. She never understood why when it came to him it was so hard to be free, why it was so hard to just trust her heart with him.

The last time he ever truly loved someone he ended up hurt. Everybody seemed to think it was always him at fault when a relationship failed and no one ever seemed to see his pain. Ever since then he has been careful not to get hurt like that again by jumping from one meaningless relationship to another. But here he was falling in love with Sarah, even deeper than he had ever loved before and he was afraid of the kind of pain that could come of this. Yet, he couldn’t fight this feeling anymore. He turns around and faces her; they both have tears running down their cheeks and with desperation he says “I love you” again, louder this time.

She closes her eyes and subtly nods her head; now she was at a loss for words. He moves closer to her and sits beside her. They stare at each other silently; pain, love, and longing in their eyes. He wipes away her tears and then pulls her into an embrace. She wraps her arms around him tightly, pouring out all the pain and love she felt. He has his head buried in her neck, still sobbing, and she is resting her head on his shoulder. Neither of them said another word, they just sat there in each other’s arms and set free all of their bottled up emotions.

No words needed to be spoken to understand how much they loved each other but it just wasn’t that easy. They both understood that love wasn’t enough and that there was so much more they needed to invest in the relationship if they wanted it to work. There were so many questions left unanswered, so many issues that still needed to be settled, and hearts that inevitably needed to be broken before they could move forward. He needed to know in his heart that he would never hurt her because he never wanted to be the cause of her pain. That’s why he ran away from her in the past (unknown to him is that fact that losing him in the first place caused the worse pain she had ever felt to date.) – he knew then that he wasn't the kind of man who could give her the kind of love she needed. But, after all this time, he wasn't the same guy he was before. Slowly he became the kind of man who could give her all she ever dreamed of. She, on the other hand, needed to find it in her to risk it all, to put her heart on the line. She knew that if she gave her heart to him he would have the power to make all her dreams come true or to break her heart in a way no one else could. She had been hurt in the past and she knew that if things didn’t work with him it would be 100 times more painful because she loved him all the more. She needed to learn to trust him and to let go of all of her fears, she needed to learn to just love him and not think of anything else. They both needed to trust in the love that they had for each other; they needed to trust that this is the last time either of them would fall in love.

He is her greatest love and she is his; the question now is whether or not they were ready to fight for this love...

TBC

Where Do Broken Hearts Go V

After a while of crying helplessly to herself she finally starts to settle down. She doesn’t know what to do or where to go all she knows is that she needs to be alone for awhile. She grabs her phone and calls her driver asking him to pick her up and drive her anywhere so that she could be alone. During the car drive she calls home to speak with her sister. She tells her not to worry because she was safe and that she just needed some time to think things through. Her driver pulls up at a hotel just outside of the city and Sarah thanks him before she gets out and walks into the hotel.

In her hotel room she shuts off her phone, not wanting to hear from anybody, and sat down onto the bed her entirety being consumed by her thoughts.

He’s sitting at home staring at his phone debating whether or not he should call her. He had a date with his girlfriend tonight but at last minute he cancelled because he didn’t feel it was fair to go out with her when Sarah was all he could think of. Finally he garners up enough courage to call her. His hand is trembling as he dials her number and brings his phone to his ear. Unfortunately, her phone was shut off still and he sighs to himself in disappointment. He thinks to himself wondering whether he should go to her so they could speak face to face but he wasn’t even sure where to find her. He knew Sarah better that they both had thought and he had an inkling that she didn’t go home that night. They didn’t shoot again for another two days and it was killing him thinking about how long he had to wait before he could speak to her again.

Those two days were agonizing for them both. He kept trying to call her but never succeeded because she never turned on her phone. And she hardly slept during those two days as she spent most the day debating with herself about what the right thing to do was.

On the day of their shooting John Lloyd arrived on set bright and early, eager to see Sarah again. She shows up right in time for hair and make-up and walks straight to her tent trying her best not to bump into him. He’s sitting down a ways from her tent and was having a casual conversation with some of the crew when he hears people say that Sarah was already there. He turns in his seat to face her tent, his heart racing, and takes a deep breath. He is about to get up but then he hears his director tell the crew to stay out of the tent for awhile because she would like to speak with Sarah one on one. John Lloyd slumps back down, disappointed, into his seat. After what felt like an eternity Sarah and their director walk out of the tent, their director’s arm around Sarah’s shoulder. He smiles upon seeing her but she avoids looking in his direction. As they approach John Lloyd the director yells out that they were going to get started. There was no time for them to talk because they got right into the scene they needed to shoot. After a couple of takes they finally had a break while the crew set up for the next scene. She is starting to walk away but he grabs her by her wrists and calls her name. With a heavy heart she turns around and finally looks him straight in the eyes. He smiles at her but she keeps a straight face.

“Sarah, tungkol dun sa nangyari nung...”

She interrupts him not wanting to hear what he had to say “Wala yun. Wag mo nang isipin yun...”

“Pero...”

“John Lloyd please wag na nating pagusapan to, wala naman tayong dapat pagusapan. I acted unprofessionally and I’m sorry.”

As she says this he loosens his grip on her wrist and she walks away from him. He stands still just watching her as she walked away from him. He covers his face with his hands in frustration and yells into his hands. Surprised by the sound of John Lloyd yelling she stops in her tracks and turns around to look at him, as does everybody else. He sees her staring at him once he removes his hands from his face but he just storms away in frustration. He was frustrated with her and with himself. He was frustrated because once again she was walking away from him; once again she was pushing him away. She watches him as he walks away, clearly angry, her heart twisting. She admitted to herself that she loved him but she wasn’t ready to admit that to him, she never wanted to admit it to him. She didn’t want to believe that there could be something special between the two of them only to find out later that she was nothing but a friend to him. History was repeating itself and they were making the same mistakes they made in the past – they both made assumptions rather than talk out what they were really feeling. Another simple misunderstanding was keeping them apart.

She made her decision – she was not going to act on her emotions. No matter which way she looked at it she was going to get hurt and having it this way seemed the least painful to her. If she choose him, if she admitted her true feelings to him she couldn’t be sure if he could return her feelings. And if he did she wasn’t sure if she could trust him with her heart. He had hurt her, time and again, and it was hard to try and move on from him in the past. Fact is she was still trying to move on from him and she had no desire to waste all her efforts to forget him in the past. Choosing him just opened up the wounds from the past, wounds that, with time, were finally healing. She wasn't ready to put her heart out there again.

He was struggling to understand what was going on between the two of them. He loved her and he knew it, he was just afraid to admit it. He was weighing in his mind what being with Sarah would mean. Things were not easy with Sarah; she had expectations and surreal beliefs about love that he just couldn’t commit to. With his current girlfriend things were easy but maybe that was what was wrong with their relationship, it was too easy. He enjoyed her company but that was about it, there was hardly an emotional connection between the two of them. He didn’t care to make the wrongs right in this relationship because it just didn’t matter, they would just brush it off and move forward. He didn’t want to admit it but the truth was he never really loved her. He just needed someone to fill that void in his life and when she came along he mistook his loneliness for love. But now that Sarah was back in his life he knew that this was love. He was starting to think the struggle would be worth it if it meant he could finally have her. He was tired of playing games, tired of wasting his time with dead end relationship but he was also afraid, afraid that he wasn’t enough for her.

They both had too much pride to be honest with each other. They both hurt each other in the past and even if they both loved each other they had too much pride to make the first move.

They continued to act cold towards each other off cam but soon enough there uneasiness towards each other was reflecting on screen and their director was not pleased. Their feelings towards each other were obvious to everybody but them it seemed and their director had had enough. She made some last minute changes to their call times and made them both come earlier than the rest of the cast and crew. The two arrive on set at practically the same time and their director greeted them both with a smile as she led them into an empty room. Neither of them said a word. They were both looking around trying to figure out where everybody else is.

“Direk asan...” Sarah says first.

But their director cuts her short and says “Let me do the talking. Pilit kong iniintindi yung sitwasyon ninyong dalawa but there is only so much I can do to make this work. Please, for your own sakes, magusap na kayo and please work this out naawa na ako sa inyong dalawa...”

“Sitwasyon? Naawa? Direk anong ibig nyong sabihin?” Sarah asks pretending not to understand what their director was implying.

“Sarah maging totoo ka sa sarili mo, pareho kayo please magpagkatotoo na kayo. I promise it will do you wonders.”

And before either of them could say another word their director walked out of the room and locked the door.

There is a chair on one side of the room and Sarah moves towards it. She slumps down onto the seat not looking at John Lloyd. John Lloyd is staring at her, he wants to speak up but he was tired of chasing after her he felt it was time for her to make the first move. But she doesn’t say a word; she just stares at the wall and hums to herself. The tension between the two of them was becoming unbearable and her humming was starting to irritate him.

“Look matagal na nating dapat ginawa to, we should of talked noon pa” he finally says rubbing his forehead in frustration.

She looked up at him, still being stubborn she answers “At ano yung dapat nating pagusapan?”

His emotions were building up inside of him and he couldn’t contain them anymore – the confusion, frustration, anger, love... he was ready to explode. He looked up at her and saw her annoyed expression, she clearly didn’t want to be here. He couldn’t put into words all the things he wanted to say. Everything just became a blur and he quickly moves across the room to where she is and kneels down in front of her. He put both his hands onto her face and pulled her into a kiss. Everything was happening so fast, his head felt like it was spinning. She has her eyes open at first, completely caught off guard, but then she surrenders to his kiss and just goes with it. She wasn’t thinking anymore, she was tired of fighting her feelings, and for a moment she didn’t care about the consequences of this kiss. Her ears were ringing and her cheeks were burning but none of that mattered, all that mattered was in this moment he was hers, finally.

But then he pulls away.

TBC

One and Only XV

She’s in the bathroom fixing her hair while he’s changing in the room. Just as she is sweeping her hand over her neck to grab hold of all of her hair he comes up behind her and kisses her bare neck. He lingers there for a moment as she giggles and with his head still bowed down by her neck he whispers.

“Ang bango mo naman... dito na lang kayo tayo tutal nalibot na natin dati tong London diba?”

He starts to place soft kisses onto her neck and shoulder and she closes her eyes, starting to feel weak in the knees. But before he could get any further she gently tugs on his hair and he lifts his head up to look at her through the mirror.

“Beh...” she says trying to get him to relax because she knew that if he went any further she wouldn’t be able to resist.

He smiles at her naughtily and says “Yes...?” as he kisses her just behind her ears.

Feeling as if she was going to cave soon she turned around and placed her hands onto his cheeks and looks him straight in the eyes.

“Beh tama na, later na lang ulit tingnan mo past 12 na di pa tayo kumakain. Bukas aalis na tayo so i-enjoy na natin yung time natin here. Tsaka sayang naman yung pagpunta natin dito kung magkukulong tayo dito sa kwarto, eh di sana nagstay na lang tayo sa Manila.”

He pouts at her but nods in surrender knowing that she was right. But just before she turned around again to finish getting ready he pulls her into his arms and kisses her on the lips. Once he pulls away from her he smiles at her playfully.

“Sige na bilisan mo na dyan dun na ako maghihintay.” he says pointing into the room.

She playfully shoves him out of the bathroom and says “Mabuti pa nga dun ka na sa labas at baka di na talaga tayo makaalis.

They have lunch at a nearby restaurant and spend the afternoon strolling around the park and shopping. After having dinner they retire back to their room where they spend the evening in their PJs talking about the future.

“Five.” He says with finality

“Five?” she looks up and ponders on this number for a little bit “Pwede... basta I want a big family para mas masaya, gusto ko yung parang kaming magkakapatid...”

He nods his head in agreement and says “Sana yung mga magiging anak natin na babae, sana, they have your eyes and your smile, pati na rin yung tawa mo...”

She looks at him dreamily and says “Sana ma mana nila yung passion mo, yung strength mo, yung fearlessness mo when it comes to love.”

As he listens to her name all his good qualities he can’t help but be filled with so much excitement about the future, about the family they were going to build together.

As she continues to ramble on about the values and characteristics she hopes their children will inherit from them he interrupts her.

“And my voice of course” he says with confidence.

She laughs at him and says “Naman dapat lang...”

For a brief moment they are both silent. She is imagining in her head what the future held for them and their future family and he just watches her as she seems to glow with happiness at this moment. Hardly being able to contain himself anymore he speaks up.

“So... simulan na natin, let’s start building this family.” He says as he winks at her and tickles her side.

Instantly she starts to laugh as she falls flat onto her back on the bed and he bends over top of her, supporting himself with his one arm to the side of her shoulder. He watches her as she laughs and rolls around a little on the bed and suddenly he stops tickling her. He’s smiling as he just watches her laugh, completely captivated by her. As she starts to settle down and her laughter begins to fade she stares right back into his eyes, so full of love, and continues to smile. They’re just staring at each other and smiling like fools for a moment. He then raises both his eyebrows and she giggles as she bites her lower lip. He then lowers himself over top of her and begins to shower her with kisses. She runs her hand through his hair, down his back and then down his arms. Once she reaches the end of his arm he takes her hands into his and grasps them tightly in his. The stars and the moon the only witnesses to the love they shared that night.

The next morning he wakes up first and sees her curled up beside him, fitting perfectly at his side. He slowly slides her over a bit so that he could get a better look at her as she slept. He turns to his side and supports himself up with his one arm as he swiped her hair off of her face. She moved her head a little and scrunched her nose as he moved her hair and stroked her face softly. He laughed softly to himself as he watched her sleeping taking note of all her little nuances. Minutes later her phone alarm starts to beep and she wakes up. She is about to reach for her phone to turn it off but as soon as she opens her eyes she sees John Lloyd just staring at her.

She laughs softly before asking “Ba’t ganyan ka makatingin?”

“May masama ba?” he innocently asks her as she clutches the blanket to her body and sits up.

She shakes her head and shyly answers “Nakakaconcious lang, kanina ka pa gising...?”

Ignoring her question he says “I love you.”

She looks at him somewhat confused and says “Okay... I love you too”

Suddenly he catches her completely off guard as he swoops in for a kiss. She puts her hands onto his cheek and pulls away.

Staring straight into his eyes and laughs “Beh hindi pa ako nagto-toothbrush...”

“Okay lang ako din naman eh” he answers with a flirtacious smile.

She shrugs her shoulders slightly and gives him one more kiss.

“Okay beh tama na, sumosobra na tayo, baka ma late pa tayo for our flight” she says as she gets up heading for the bathroom.

He bites his lower lip and scratches his head as his gaze follows her.

“Ikaw kasi eh, pagnakikita kita I can’t help myself from... loving you”

She turns at the bathroom door and leaning on the door frame she answers “Hindi obvious...” as she winks at him and signals for him to follow her. He jumps out of bed laughing and follows her into the bathroom.

After their shower they packed their things and rushed to the airport to catch their flight back home.

They had their dream wedding and for a couple days they enjoyed married life away from the prying eyes of showbiz but now it was time to go home and face reality. They were thankful for the time they got to enjoy each other one on one and they knew that once they got back home they had to get back to work and moments like this wouldn’t come as often as it did for the past few days. But they weren’t afraid of what waited for them at home, instead they were excited, excited to start their life together in their world. Excited to face everyday together, as husband and wife.